God promised He would help me with you, June; fourth Holler babe. We found out about you officially the day after our van was totaled, but in the previous month, June, God moved. I believe He led me to think you were on the way in order to begin a conversation.
“I really don’t think this is what’s best for our family.”
“How can I possibly manage this? I’m drowning.”
“I will help you with this one.”
His superior understanding and judgement of my own happiness wins. I pray now that you, June Elizabeth, learn quickly how much better His plans are than ours.
A week of prayer and resisting later, I was surprised and confused to learn you were in fact not on the way. Then I felt relief. Was the whole week a test of faith, and should we continue as before intending with even more gusto to be parents of only three kids? One month passed and I went to the hospital to have my knee X-rayed, the only real sore spot after the wreck. A routine pregnancy test told us you were on the way!
Now I don’t know what I would do without you. Below is one reassurance He gave me when I felt so very afraid of becoming a mother to four. His promises are sure, sweet June.
The Lord reigns; he is robed in majesty;
the Lord is robed; he has put on strength as his belt.
Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.
Your throne is established from of old;
you are from everlasting.
The floods have lifted up, O Lord,
the floods have lifted up their voice;
the floods lift up their roaring.
Mightier than the thunders of many waters,
mightier than the waves of the sea,
the Lord on high is mighty!
Your decrees are very trustworthy;
holiness befits your house,
O Lord, forevermore.